A Kuroshitsuji Moment
by Mixigana
Summary: Each chapter is another moment. Serious cracktasticness! I suck at summaries... First Kuroshitsuji fanfic!
1. Moment One

...I'm not gonna make a big introduction thingy... But I will say this: Ciel Phantomive is my home-skillet-biscuit! *coughs* Anywho... I don't own Black Butler(damn)... Enjoy! ^-^

**Moment One**

Ciel and Sebastian sat at the table in the study. Ciel on one side, and Sebastian on the other. Both were staring intently at the chess board infront of them. Ciel moved one of his pawns and smirked.  
>"Check mate." he said simply. Sebastian frowned.<br>" You can't move that peice." The butler said.  
>"And why not?"<br>"It's against the rules."  
>"Screw the rules! I have an eyepatch!" Ciel exclaimed. Sebastian showed his classic smirk. The demon picked up all of Ciel's pawns, shoved them in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed. Ciel stared at him in shock before jumping up angrily.<br>"You can't eat the oppenent's pawns!" he shouted. "It's against the rules!" Sebastian smirked.  
>"Screw the rules. I'm sexy~"<p>

Yup... 'Twas rather short, eh? Well get used to it. 'Cause most of them will be! :D Please review! Thanks!


	2. Moment Two

**... I dun own Kuroshitsuji(*sniffle*)...**

**Moment Two**

Ciel strolled around the masnsion, bored out of his little mind. Madam Red and Grell had gone into town to shop, Bard, Mairin, and Finny were all busy with their work, and no one knew where the hell Sebastian was... So Ciel was all alone in the mansion, trying to find something that would entertain him.

As he walked by Madam Red's room, he suddenly got an idea. He smiled evily, ran into the room, and threw open the first drawer he could. What he saw in it confused him greatly. There were two padded cushions, both small, with string attached to it. As he examined it, he noticed that it hooked in the back. To him, this was a magical-cushiony-thing-of-wonder, or a hat. After a few moments of thinking, he decided that it was _indeed_ a magical-cushiony-**HAT**-of-wonder. So he put it on his head, for that's what you do with hats, and left the room.

~Later that Evening!~

Everyone was sitting at the table awaiting for both dinner _and_ Ciel to arrive. Sebastian heard the footsteps of the approaching shota in the hallway, and opened the door.

"Good evening, Bocchan." Sebastian greeted with a bow. "Your guests have been anxiously awaiting your arrive-" The butler froze when he saw what was on his master's head. "E-excuse me, Bocchan, but may I ask what is on your head?"

"It's magical-cushiony-hat-of-wonder." Ciel explained in a bored tone. Grell, Bard, Mairin, and Finny were trying to stiffle their laughter. Madam Red got up and walked over to her nephew.

"Aw, Sweetie. That's not a magical-cushiony-hat-of-wonder, that's a bra." she said slowly. Ciel looked confused.

"What's a... Bra?" he asked.

"It's something that women need to use."

"What does it do?"

"It's a boob-holder, Sweetie." Ciel's face paled.

"SEBASTIAN! Get the boob-holder off my head! Sebastian! Help me! Get it off my head and burn it!"

(Please imagine Ciel flailing about, crying, and basically freaking out.)

**...Lol... PLEASE REVIEW!**


	3. Moment Three

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. It's tragic, really...**

**Moment Three**

"Welcome back to 'Cooking with Bard'! said man greeted. "Our potatos are simmering now, so we'll begin cooking the chicken!" Bard flipped through the cookbook on the counter. "Ah! Here we go! Chicken A La Bob!" he read. "Cook the chicken at 360 dor two hours... ... ... ... Well that's way to long! This will make it go quicker!" Bard pulled out a flamethrower. Before he even used it, the audience, assistant chef, camera man, sound man, and director ran away screaming. Bard simply shrugged and pulled the trigger. "Why do they always freak ou-"

**... End... Please Review!**


	4. Moment Four

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji!**

**Moment Four**

"WHAT IF THE ZOMBIES COME TO GET ME?" Grell shouted in terror. Ciel sighed. All day, Grell had been freaking out over a possible zombie apocolypse. He was terrified that the Zombies would come to eat his brains. Sebastian put a hand on Grell's shoulder.

"Don't worry, Grell." The demon said.

"B-Bassy?"

"Zombies only eat beings with brains~!"

**Poor Grell...**


	5. Moment Five

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji.**

**Moment Five**

"Sebastian, what time is it?" Ciel asked. Sebastian checked his pocket watch and smirked.

"Well, Bocchan, it appears to be raping time."

"Oh cra-"

**... XD Review! Request! Add me on Tinierme! I'm Piko is Epic!**


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